Tag Archives: relationships

e[lust] #14

26 May


photo courtesy of Lila

Welcome to e[lust] – Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #14? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Answers with an Agenda 1- FistingOnce you’ve gotten started using two fingers for a bit, then it is time to build until four fingers are sliding in and out of the person, and you are on your way.

GaggedI think it’s got to be a combination… fingers sliding into your cunt, a merciless tease of your clit, and yes, it’s going to have to be, lining my cock up with your ass.

MineI feel you stir beneath me as I create a rhythm, your breathing changing growing more shallow as you slip from sleep into arousal. My eyes lift to yours as you smile and try to move your arms and then freeze.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Puppet MasterWhen I was right next to them and they still did not notice, I put my lips to his ear (loud music, you know) and whispered “Touch her boobs, I bet she’d like that” and I backed up a foot.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Shaping Some Limits “If you ever did that to me, I promise you would never see me again”.Those words were spoken to me this past weekend by my pet during one of our overnight dates. The subject was face slapping.

See also: Pleasurists #77 for all your sex toy review needs.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Kink & Fetish

12 Licks of the Tawse
A Canvas for Pain
Best Friends
Fetish: What’s Yours?
Needles and Cock Choking
One Couple’s Journey into Kink, part 2
Pieces of Skin and Bone
Please hurt me unbearably, you fucking fucker!
Ssssh…
The Taskmaster’s Whip

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A (Short) Ode to Uncut Cocks
Compersive Vanillas?
How Fear can Lead to Understanding and Trust
I am not a rapist…
Mother’s Day Gift
On threesomes
On Friendship
Playing Nice On The Swingset
Tyler and Holly Give Swing Clubs Another Chance
The Virgin in the Family/Do Not Enter
third person
Whacking For America

Erotic Writing

26 minutes
A Request For Help
Are you willing, Are You?
A Squirting Experience
All Dressed Up – The Party ….part 2
Beginning
Book Orgasm
Dhanurasana
Flesh for Fantasy
Filled
Getting Lost in the Forest
Guest Post: Truck
Go Habs Go Domme Style
hotel window
How Do I Find You Sexy?
I’ll Be Waiting
Jim and Lisa
Keeping It In The Family
Mind the Gap
My Sluttiest Moment
My First Blowjob
Me, Myself & My Clit
Not Tonight Dear, I’ve Got A Headache (Part 2)
Pure, Unadulterated Desire
Predatory
rhythm
Something Different
slumber interruptis
therapy session #1
Wanton Wednesday- Fuck-toy
Wednesday Night Blues

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
Eden Fantasys Newbie Help Guide
What the fuck, EdenFantasys?
Workshops and More at the ALCC

Pure, Unadulterated Desire.

18 May

Your ropes snake and coil against my skin. You are dragging them over my burning flesh ever so slowly, waking me up with their texture, letting me know what will soon encircle me and hold me emphatically to your will.

My nipples perk up immediately, hardening into delicious pebbles as your fingers lightly brush across their sensitive tips. A wicked smile comes to your lips and I yearn to taste it upon your lips.

Your movements are slow and deliberate, and I know I must be patient if I am to be granted release at any point in the evening. You take your time and continue to teach me how to come present and enjoy both that which is happening and that which will come to pass with the utmost fullness.

My cunt is dripping wetness out of my silken folds and onto my inner thighs. My hips want to buck, but I know I must be a good girl and that the time for motion will come after the time for stillness.

There is an exquisite magic in the air, and our exchange feels as a sacred ritual. You have all of me—body, mind and soul—already, and things are just beginning.

Continue reading

Do Emotional & Physical Monogamy Intersect?

18 May

Here’s how I see it:
I believe that monogamy is a myth in the sense that the human heart is wired for polyamory (even if most people haven’t yet come to that conscious place of self-awareness). I have crazy mixed-feelings and thoughts on poly-relationships and polygamy where myself is concerned (and you’ll be hearing more about that later), but I do believe that I have a polyamorist heart. I believe that my heart was created to love more than One, and that it works best when it does. However, when I talk about that, I’m not necessarily talking about having a Primary partner and a secondary partner and a tertiary partner and all that babble. I’m just talking about having deep, deep love inside of me for more than one person at the same time.

I once read an article on an airplane… actually, I believe it was an advice-column in Psychology Today about “emotional cheating” and this woman was freaking out because she had a close guy-friend at work and they shared a deep emotional bond and would talk about things that she didn’t necessarily discuss with her fiancée.

The psychologist who was giving the advice reprimanded her harshly for meeting up with this friend and enjoying what sounded to me as a healthy friendship with deep waters of meaningful connection. The advice-giver called it emotional cheating, and said that it was unhealthy to have connections like that to anyone but one’s primary partner, that to do so is akin to cheating on a monogamous partner with another physical relationship.

She demanded that the woman cut off the relationship with her close friend from work, immediately discontinue sharing any feelings with anyone other than her fiancée and/or break off the engagement because she clearly “wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment.”

Blech. I had the strongest negative reaction to that article (and still do when I recount it). I had never heard the term “emotional cheating” before, and while I can see where the psychologist was coming from, I think it’s utter rubbish.

Humans need connection to live, to be healthy, to survive, to thrive. We need emotional connection just as much as we need a roof over our heads, food to eat, and water to drink.

We have physical needs, yes, but I might even go as far as saying that the emotional needs take priority. And for me, most often, the physical needs are linked to the emotional; I cannot separate them. I trainwreck when I try. (Another reason why I don’t do so well with public play unless I am partnered at the time, or with a protector, or feeling extremely safe otherwise, even though I like the glitz and glamour of it.)

I grew up in a house of conflict, in a family where my parents were constantly screaming at each other, hitting each other, punching through doors and walls, crying and yelling and shouting and arguing. They separated when I was seven. And a lot of my worldview has been formed around those formative years of my childhood. When I look around at people that I know and consider to be in successful intimate relationships, they are not getting all of their emotional needs met by that one person, by his/her primary (or monogamous) partner.

I don’t care if it’s a date, a play-partner in a BDSM context, a courtship, an engagement, a handfast, a marriage, a relationship, a physical relationship, an emotional relationship, a friendship, a friendship with physical benefits, a friendship with emotional benefits… I believe that people need more than one emotional connection in their lives to be healthy and balanced. And I believe that it is oftentimes the path that is healthiest for any given relationship, no matter what form it takes, or what labels are used to describe the interaction of intimacy.

To me, it is not only unrealistic to expect a single partner or friend to meet all of my emotional needs; it is foolish. It is emotional-suicide. It is turning off the wellspring of light inside of me. It is drowning myself with my own intensity, and usually drowning my (primary) relationship, too, sucking the light away from both, suffocating myself and my Other until we combust and cannot continue to be together. (That was a mouthful, wasn’t it? *giggles* That’s just the tip of the iceberg, but that’s my stance on emotional monogamy, anyway.)

As far as the physical side of things goes, I mentioned earlier that I have very very mixed feelings about polygamy and poly relationships in general. I am much more comfortable with labeling myself as non-monogamous than I am with labeling myself as poly, and think I am much more comfortable having a series of parallel relationships (a certain style of swinging, for sure) that may or may not intersect physically and emotionally than I am in having one big closed poly free-for-all with seven other women and one man, for example.

(Yes, I did experience that type of relationship framework. Yes, it was a trainwreck (for me). And a nightmare. And there was too much emotional-abuse involved for me to even have my head screwed on straight. My first full day living with all of them I blacked out, fainted, lost consciousness for the first time in my life. Think my body was trying to tell me something?)

On some days, even, I just want to settle into a comfy physically monogamous relationship, and just branch-out to get my emotional needs sated.

But enough about me; your turn! Tell me about YOU. Introduce yourself. Catch me up. Say hi. I’d love to meet you in this hyper-digitized, globalized, yet nonetheless close-knit community of sexual creatures.

Blissfully Yours,
Mistress Arabella

Fireflies and the Moon.

12 May

And he said he’d be the second sun, if that’s what it takes to love me. For me to feel loved. 

“Why would I waste my time with little fireflies, when you’re the fucking moon in the sky?” he said. 

It was then that I lost my words.

The newest podcast from the awesome ladies and gents at Life on the Swingset. In Episode 5, they talk about the two major teams in the swinging community, soft swap (play but no intercourse with the opposite partner) or full (everybody gets laid) and discuss the complexities in defining each, and the pros and cons.  Sasha also talks about her new website: pleasure-parties.com Subscribe to their podcast on itunes!  And rate them while you’re there!

10 May

The newest podcast from the awesome ladies and gents at Life on the Swingset.

In Episode 5, they talk about the two major teams in the swinging community, soft swap (play but no intercourse with the opposite partner) or full (everybody gets laid) and discuss the complexities in defining each, and the pros and cons.  Sasha also talks about her new website: pleasure-parties.com

Subscribe to their podcast on itunes!  And rate them while you’re there!

10 May

A website by and for the sexually-open. Adults only!

“I’m Ready” by the incredible Allison Weiss.  DO WE ALL KNOW THIS FEELING OR WHAT?! What are your fav relationship songs???

9 May

]

9 May

So, we all knew that lowering our stress-levels made us live longer. And most of us love having sex (though I’m not sure that you LOVE it as much as I do.) Most of us also knew that women live longer than men because women just rock. Clearly. But did you know that having sex at least twice a week makes us live longer? 

The new part that surprised me, will surprise you, and brought up a whole heck of a lot of questions? Study says polygamous men live longer. Is it true for polyamorous, unmarried men, too? What about “monogamous” married, cheating jerks? And what about the polygamous and polyamorous women? Cheaters and non-cheaters? Does this statistic include poly-kinksters and kinksterettes? Swingers?

What do y’all think? 

Thoughts? Reactions? Responses? Resources?