We’ve Moved!

25 May

Please follow us to our new, updated site at http://bombshells-and-rockstars.com

We’re continuing to be your guide in sex, dating, culture, kink, playing hard & staying safe. Remember, at Mistress Arabella’s Bombshells & Rockstars, we do all the dirty work, so you can have all the fun!

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Blissfully,
Mistress Arabella

e[lust] #14

26 May


photo courtesy of Lila

Welcome to e[lust] – Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #14? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Answers with an Agenda 1- FistingOnce you’ve gotten started using two fingers for a bit, then it is time to build until four fingers are sliding in and out of the person, and you are on your way.

GaggedI think it’s got to be a combination… fingers sliding into your cunt, a merciless tease of your clit, and yes, it’s going to have to be, lining my cock up with your ass.

MineI feel you stir beneath me as I create a rhythm, your breathing changing growing more shallow as you slip from sleep into arousal. My eyes lift to yours as you smile and try to move your arms and then freeze.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Puppet MasterWhen I was right next to them and they still did not notice, I put my lips to his ear (loud music, you know) and whispered “Touch her boobs, I bet she’d like that” and I backed up a foot.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Shaping Some Limits “If you ever did that to me, I promise you would never see me again”.Those words were spoken to me this past weekend by my pet during one of our overnight dates. The subject was face slapping.

See also: Pleasurists #77 for all your sex toy review needs.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Kink & Fetish

12 Licks of the Tawse
A Canvas for Pain
Best Friends
Fetish: What’s Yours?
Needles and Cock Choking
One Couple’s Journey into Kink, part 2
Pieces of Skin and Bone
Please hurt me unbearably, you fucking fucker!
Ssssh…
The Taskmaster’s Whip

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A (Short) Ode to Uncut Cocks
Compersive Vanillas?
How Fear can Lead to Understanding and Trust
I am not a rapist…
Mother’s Day Gift
On threesomes
On Friendship
Playing Nice On The Swingset
Tyler and Holly Give Swing Clubs Another Chance
The Virgin in the Family/Do Not Enter
third person
Whacking For America

Erotic Writing

26 minutes
A Request For Help
Are you willing, Are You?
A Squirting Experience
All Dressed Up – The Party ….part 2
Beginning
Book Orgasm
Dhanurasana
Flesh for Fantasy
Filled
Getting Lost in the Forest
Guest Post: Truck
Go Habs Go Domme Style
hotel window
How Do I Find You Sexy?
I’ll Be Waiting
Jim and Lisa
Keeping It In The Family
Mind the Gap
My Sluttiest Moment
My First Blowjob
Me, Myself & My Clit
Not Tonight Dear, I’ve Got A Headache (Part 2)
Pure, Unadulterated Desire
Predatory
rhythm
Something Different
slumber interruptis
therapy session #1
Wanton Wednesday- Fuck-toy
Wednesday Night Blues

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
Eden Fantasys Newbie Help Guide
What the fuck, EdenFantasys?
Workshops and More at the ALCC

Erotica: Hot-as-Fuck FFM Threesome

19 May

Starting to lick slowly, broadly, from your balls all the way up to the head of your cock. To its beautiful tip. Taking you into my mouth, deep into my mouth, down my throat, gagging on you till the tears come, putting your pleasure above all else. I know that she’s watching hungrily, helplessly.

She is tied, spread-eagle on the bed. Her pussy lips swollen with arousal and parted just so. Her perfect breasts proudly displaying a pair of clovers. Her nipples white with the tension of the clips, the strain, the pressure, the pain. Her breathing seems to be in sync with mine, and when mine quickens, hers follows.

I like to watch her while I’m sucking you off. Like to know that she’s watching me. That she’s watching us.

Continue reading

You’re in a Hot-as-Fuck Threesome…

19 May

And you can only choose one tool. What’ll it be?


The Martian in the Harem: When Poly Slavery Turns Into Cult Brainwashing

18 May

Do we write and rewrite the story of our past just as we are constantly writing and rewriting the story of our present, our future?

Is it possible to set ourselves aside and become another person for the sake of a relationship? Is that sustainable? And how does it work for seduction purposes?

Can any one of us become anyone’s “someone” ?

Where are the lines between truth and fiction? Imagined reality and rememberance of reality? What is the role of memory and forgetting?

Can martians be good lovers? Share intimacy?

Apparently, no woman is allowed to be an amazing lover without having a troubled past. Furthermore, she is not allowed to be any good at begging or kneeling or pleasing her love, especially if he may be a man,  and doubly so if he happens to be older than she.

That is what I learned in the beginning of my relationship with a Dominant/Master/Trainer. Let’s call him 2.0.

Such attributes in a woman (especially a young twenty-something woman) must point to some horrendous abuse in her past, he explained. Otherwise, from where did she get the experience?The highly infectious desire? The willingness? The ache, the burn for submission?

“What’s your number?” he used to ask me. And by that he meant, what is the percentage of your feeling that you are making all these stories up just to please me, to sate a near-stranger? Thelower your number, the more you believe that the memories you are recovering are true. The more you believe that they are yours. The more you stand behind them and certify their validity.

Was it all an elaborate game of brainwashing? And on whose side? (Both of ours, perhaps?) And isn’t all seduction subtle manipulation anyways?

We want to know our lovers. It could be argued that more than that, however, we want to create our lovers. We want to make and remake them to fit the specifications of our fantasies, our neuroses, our compulsions, our desires, our dreams.

2.0 had me watch Hitchcock’s Vertigo, paying special attention to the way that the main character molded a random woman that he met to become the living incarnation of his dead wife.

Maybe I was the convenient pawn to be molded, to be remade.

Is it any coincidence that all of his slaves happen to be victims of terrible abuse? Surviving shock and trauma in their childhoods far worse than the stories that make the news? And a concentration of hurt, wounded, traumatized women all in one area… How does he find them all? Or is he playing a role in fashioning their identities?

Yes, it may be true that it is easier to control a woman who has been abused in her past. She is wounded, weak, some go so far as to use the word “broken” in description. But what of thewoman that was not abused or wounded, lived her whole life without that stigma, and then meets a man who suddenly implants such an idea into her head? She becomes vulnerable only to him. She can’t run to her family. He effectively disables her support structure, naming them as themalignant tumor from which evil has spread.

“The reason you have these sexual desires,” he might say, “is because of the things they did to you when you were young. Terrible, terrible things.”

And you start to question your memories, and your lack of memories. Remembering and forgetting become all-important. He insists that you’re running away from yourself and from intimacy when you don’t remember, and in the echo of Pavlov, he “rewards” you (well) when you remember along the lines that further his purpose, serve his case. You fall deeper and deeper inlove with this man, this stranger, this Dominant.

Suddenly he is not just a lover in the distance, but therapist, teacher, healer. And he is the only one who has the magic salve. The only one who understands what happened to you. The only one who will listen to you. The only one who can heal you. The only one who knows where the entrance to the cave is. (Perhaps you are playing right into his hand. Perhaps that has been his plan all along.)

And as you are questioning your own memories, you question his motives. He is quick to dismiss your doubt and continue programming you. “Outsiders often tell my girls that this seems like a cult.”

“Good,” I tell my girls in response. “It should.”

And is it? And do the “true” stories that you share have more behind them than undeniable truth? And do they have a purpose beyond creating more fear, more instability in us? Furthering thevictim-mentality that brings prey closer to your doorstep.

2.0 teaches you mantras. Infuses them into you like breath. “You’ll hurt me, but you’ll never hurt my heart.” / “You’re mountains and sun. You never turn away from a girl. You’ll never turn away from me.” / “I need. I need. I need. I need You. I can’t live without You. I need You to teach me how to live, how to breathe, please.”

To every lingering doubt of yours, he has a response. To every question, an answer. It is all formulaic on his end, perfectly scripted. He gloats about his consistency and assures you that consistency is a marker of beliefworthiness. “You ache to be beliefworthy to yourself,” he tells you. And with a single statement he has dealt another deep blow to your self-trust, effectively disabling the alarms that are going off inside of you, covering the red flags, hiding the warning lights and muting the sirens (at least temporarily, until the effect wears off– at which point he is ready, and waiting, anticipating your every move (external and internal, conscious and subconscious). “You ache to be beliefworthy to yourself,” he says. The repetition echoes inside of you, and the effect is more solid this time. Your response more thorough, your mind falling into step more quickly than the time before.

And it goes on like this. One night he tells you to google “Stockholm Syndrome.” You do and you tell him what you’ve found. He proceeds to explain that the reason you love your family so much and have been close to them for all of these years is because they were your abusers, and you became close as a way to cope. A neurosis. “A sane response to an insane situation,” he says. “It happened, but it’s not your fault. Anyone would have broken to THAT. Anyone  would have done just what you did to survive. It was so smart. You were such a smart little girl.”

The problems begin when he falls for you harder than he anticipated. You capture him. You seduce him. And he starts slipping. Your eyes are open, and you begin to see his game. You begin to see through him. The illusion is shattered. It doesn’t crumble instantly, but takes weeks to slowly erode (because the brainwashing was so thorough, so penetrating). He is hopelessly inlove with you. He wants to leave the old ways behind, which he must do if he is to share real intimacy with you.

Your mere presence threatens his whole adult-identity, all of the lies that his life is built upon, that his other girlfriends/slaves/lovers subscribe to. You threaten to destroy his reality or break his heart. He can’t have you and his old games, and he knows it. The tension builds.

(No need to watch your favorite soap on tv anymore. You get it all live.)

NOTE: Yes, this happened to me. Yes, it’s a true story. Yes, I’m lucky to have escaped with my sanity, and my life. Yes, I know many other girls who are still trapped in that hell with that abusive prick.

If you, or someone you know is in a similar situation, please seek help. I can offer resources. Message me privately, anonymously at MistressArabella AT live DOT com and I will do my very best to get resources to you and/or your loved ones. Relationship abuse is not a joke; it’s not a game. It damages lives, and it takes lives.

What’s Your Music Kink?

18 May

Okay people, gimme your secret happy songs! I know you have them. We all do. What are the songs that you dance to in your underwear? The ones that bring a smile to your lips, and a song to your soul. The ones that make you bust out the air-guitar with only socks on.

The ones that give you an incredible high that rivals only subspace or domspace. The ones that propel you flying past subspace or domspace. The songs that get you there time and again. The songs that get you off. The songs that satisfy you aurally, and then some. Yes, those songs.

What are they? I want to know. What’s your music kink? What gets you off, hard, every time?!

List ’em here. Sexy songs. Sensual songs. Songs that make you do a happy dance. Songs that make you come. Songs that open your heart. Songs that uplift your spirit. Songs that unchain your soul. Fuck-me songs. Yes, it-was-that-good songs. Songs that make you feel on top of the world. Songs that transform a rainy day into a bright, sunny one. Addictive songs. Songs that give you a high.

What’s your music kink?

Pure, Unadulterated Desire.

18 May

Your ropes snake and coil against my skin. You are dragging them over my burning flesh ever so slowly, waking me up with their texture, letting me know what will soon encircle me and hold me emphatically to your will.

My nipples perk up immediately, hardening into delicious pebbles as your fingers lightly brush across their sensitive tips. A wicked smile comes to your lips and I yearn to taste it upon your lips.

Your movements are slow and deliberate, and I know I must be patient if I am to be granted release at any point in the evening. You take your time and continue to teach me how to come present and enjoy both that which is happening and that which will come to pass with the utmost fullness.

My cunt is dripping wetness out of my silken folds and onto my inner thighs. My hips want to buck, but I know I must be a good girl and that the time for motion will come after the time for stillness.

There is an exquisite magic in the air, and our exchange feels as a sacred ritual. You have all of me—body, mind and soul—already, and things are just beginning.

Continue reading

Do Emotional & Physical Monogamy Intersect?

18 May

Here’s how I see it:
I believe that monogamy is a myth in the sense that the human heart is wired for polyamory (even if most people haven’t yet come to that conscious place of self-awareness). I have crazy mixed-feelings and thoughts on poly-relationships and polygamy where myself is concerned (and you’ll be hearing more about that later), but I do believe that I have a polyamorist heart. I believe that my heart was created to love more than One, and that it works best when it does. However, when I talk about that, I’m not necessarily talking about having a Primary partner and a secondary partner and a tertiary partner and all that babble. I’m just talking about having deep, deep love inside of me for more than one person at the same time.

I once read an article on an airplane… actually, I believe it was an advice-column in Psychology Today about “emotional cheating” and this woman was freaking out because she had a close guy-friend at work and they shared a deep emotional bond and would talk about things that she didn’t necessarily discuss with her fiancée.

The psychologist who was giving the advice reprimanded her harshly for meeting up with this friend and enjoying what sounded to me as a healthy friendship with deep waters of meaningful connection. The advice-giver called it emotional cheating, and said that it was unhealthy to have connections like that to anyone but one’s primary partner, that to do so is akin to cheating on a monogamous partner with another physical relationship.

She demanded that the woman cut off the relationship with her close friend from work, immediately discontinue sharing any feelings with anyone other than her fiancée and/or break off the engagement because she clearly “wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment.”

Blech. I had the strongest negative reaction to that article (and still do when I recount it). I had never heard the term “emotional cheating” before, and while I can see where the psychologist was coming from, I think it’s utter rubbish.

Humans need connection to live, to be healthy, to survive, to thrive. We need emotional connection just as much as we need a roof over our heads, food to eat, and water to drink.

We have physical needs, yes, but I might even go as far as saying that the emotional needs take priority. And for me, most often, the physical needs are linked to the emotional; I cannot separate them. I trainwreck when I try. (Another reason why I don’t do so well with public play unless I am partnered at the time, or with a protector, or feeling extremely safe otherwise, even though I like the glitz and glamour of it.)

I grew up in a house of conflict, in a family where my parents were constantly screaming at each other, hitting each other, punching through doors and walls, crying and yelling and shouting and arguing. They separated when I was seven. And a lot of my worldview has been formed around those formative years of my childhood. When I look around at people that I know and consider to be in successful intimate relationships, they are not getting all of their emotional needs met by that one person, by his/her primary (or monogamous) partner.

I don’t care if it’s a date, a play-partner in a BDSM context, a courtship, an engagement, a handfast, a marriage, a relationship, a physical relationship, an emotional relationship, a friendship, a friendship with physical benefits, a friendship with emotional benefits… I believe that people need more than one emotional connection in their lives to be healthy and balanced. And I believe that it is oftentimes the path that is healthiest for any given relationship, no matter what form it takes, or what labels are used to describe the interaction of intimacy.

To me, it is not only unrealistic to expect a single partner or friend to meet all of my emotional needs; it is foolish. It is emotional-suicide. It is turning off the wellspring of light inside of me. It is drowning myself with my own intensity, and usually drowning my (primary) relationship, too, sucking the light away from both, suffocating myself and my Other until we combust and cannot continue to be together. (That was a mouthful, wasn’t it? *giggles* That’s just the tip of the iceberg, but that’s my stance on emotional monogamy, anyway.)

As far as the physical side of things goes, I mentioned earlier that I have very very mixed feelings about polygamy and poly relationships in general. I am much more comfortable with labeling myself as non-monogamous than I am with labeling myself as poly, and think I am much more comfortable having a series of parallel relationships (a certain style of swinging, for sure) that may or may not intersect physically and emotionally than I am in having one big closed poly free-for-all with seven other women and one man, for example.

(Yes, I did experience that type of relationship framework. Yes, it was a trainwreck (for me). And a nightmare. And there was too much emotional-abuse involved for me to even have my head screwed on straight. My first full day living with all of them I blacked out, fainted, lost consciousness for the first time in my life. Think my body was trying to tell me something?)

On some days, even, I just want to settle into a comfy physically monogamous relationship, and just branch-out to get my emotional needs sated.

But enough about me; your turn! Tell me about YOU. Introduce yourself. Catch me up. Say hi. I’d love to meet you in this hyper-digitized, globalized, yet nonetheless close-knit community of sexual creatures.

Blissfully Yours,
Mistress Arabella

Do You Have a FAV Sex Toy? Tell Me About It!

18 May

Know the Stats that Matter

16 May

courtesy of RAINN.org

Spread Awareness. Help yourself. Help Others. Have fun, but above all, be SAFE.